Weird Skyrim Mod

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Herpetoquotation
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Weird Skyrim Mod

Post by Herpetoquotation »

No, she ain't real and she's never gonna' be, but just for the helluvit, let's us imagine Skyrim if Beth didn't have to worry about pushing more units than there are observable stars in the sky.

And this one won't take a decade, I swears it.

Anywho, my cents:

- Main plot marries the Dragon cult with existing lore in a very post-colonial, very Ben-Shapiro-suffering-a-hydrophobic-conniption kinda way. This of course means no Alduin-but-not-really chickenshit ersatz World-Eater. Instead, we fight Ysgramor. And Ysgramor is a dragon.

- Persistent and not necessarily pleasant racial bonuses and powers. Altmer see lesser races as rotting fleshbags. Dunmer are mathematically unlucky. Imperials explode into moths on death, etc., etc.

- No Dwemer ruins. We explore Falmer ruins instead. Think 1920s Mayan Revival meets Atomgrad brutalism. They are haunted by the familiar degenerated and blind Falmer, although Nord cultural categorization has long since assigned them as kin to Rieklings, referring to them as Skraelings. Uncovering this truth, and the source of their blindness, is a major plot point.

- No Orc strongholds. Alright, some Orc strongholds. But there's now 'Old-Believer' Nord villages, tucked away in the wilderness. They speak in Anglish, worship the Old Gods of Skyrim and are extremely disdainful of Cyrodilic influence. This includes Talos.

- The Old-Believer version of Dibella has a really Nord-y name. I haven't decided what that is yet, but it's really cool and really Nord-y.

- The Empire is Carolingian rather than Early Roman Principate. Titus Mede has only even been to the Imperial City once, for his coronation by Innocent Septim, Primate of Akatosh; He rules from Sancre Tor. Most of Nibenay, meanwhile, has balkanized into various merchant/moth republics that vacillate their loyalties between Mede and Innocent, who have since parted ways on the Talosian Schism.

- The Most Serene Republic of Leyawiin, however, is firm in their fealty to Alinor.

- Thalmor are only Elf Nazis in the Werner Von Braun sense - that is say - they're actively trying to leave Tamriel and Talos is preventing that.

- Attributes make a comeback. If your Endurance is below 75, High Hrothgar is basically inaccessible without magickal intervention.

- The Great War was way, way more messy. Both in terms of allegiances and violence. Southern Highrock is now a magickally irradiated wasteland.

- The College of Winterhold questline isn't totally anodyne and inconsequential. Thalmor are again heavily involved, though not necessarily as antagonists. Think Jason Bright.

- No Dark Brotherhood. Forsworn is the Assassin's Guild. Amongst other things, the questline finally reveals the names of their Old Gods.

-Thieves Guild is trying to steal Nocturnal herself.

- Actual Volkihar. The Companions questline involves trying to capture one alive(ish) for a wealthy merchant, who turns out to be someone very fanservice-y.

- Speech craft is useful and gamified to the same extent as combat. Theft and burglary too. I'm toying with certain specialized skills being equip-able to specific hands, like spells.

- GIANTS ARE A JOINABLE FACTION.

- The civil war questline is more intrigue and politicking, rather than really shitty battles. There's also faction reputation and disguises, a la New Vegas.

- NPCs don't splurt canned lines at you (DO YOU GO THE CLOUD DISTRICT VERY OFTEN?!) when they get within a spitting distance, but just greet you, with, yknow, regular greetings, a la Oblivion. Yes, I know this is the opposite of weird.

- The wilderness if foreboding, dark, and strange, and definitely not stocked with Wolves and Bears with no survival instinct. Instead there will be Elk without knees, weird one-eyed Millers, and many more eldritch surprises.

- Shouts are very, very different.
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Lady Nerevar
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Re: Weird Skyrim Mod

Post by Lady Nerevar »

Ya know, I actually _like_ most of Skyrim and would want to expand on it rather than get rid of it wholesale.
This of course means no Alduin-but-not-really chickenshit ersatz World-Eater.
But what if I like Alduin? :( I would want to keep him but also make him a whole lot more interesting. BIG. Gets BIGGER as the game goes along. Landscape is wrecked, rifts into other space-times are opened as he eats entire villages. Dead gods come back to fight in the War of Twilight, like your boy Ysmir.
- GIANTS ARE A JOINABLE FACTION.
The quest line involves you actually becoming giant to do so. Doing so severely limits the rest of your gameplay, much like vampirism did in Morrowind.
- The Empire is Carolingian rather than Early Roman Principate. Titus Mede has only even been to the Imperial City once, for his coronation by Innocent Septim, Primate of Akatosh; He rules from Sancre Tor. Most of Nibenay, meanwhile, has balkanized into various merchant/moth republics that vacillate their loyalties between Mede and Innocent, who have since parted ways on the Talosian Schism.
I dig this take on the Empire. I don't think it's necessarily entirely out of the question for the current game universe, either...
- The civil war questline is more intrigue and politicking, rather than really shitty battles. There's also faction reputation and disguises, a la New Vegas.
Since this is an entirely fictional mod unbound by the limits of engine and budget, I'll raise you one: the Civil War quest line has actual giant epic battles ala Assassin's Creed Odyssey. But also the intrigue, politicking, disguises, and assassination stuff you mention. Regions and their inhabitants are directly affected by your choice to do battle or not, and who wins or doesn't.
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DrNightstone
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Re: Weird Skyrim Mod

Post by DrNightstone »

-Playing as a Nord gets you a 10% chance of getting lost in the forest if you walk off the paved roads. Trees appear endlessly until a weird goat-eyed talking rabbit appears and spews riddles at you. Get it wrong and you get race-changed into an elf.

-Portal to Sovngarde but it is a literal cave you walk through. Like no magic, just down. Stay close to the candlelight, the stairways can be treacherous. Dead ancestors, underground demons, sweet talking raindeers, you-but-not-you, full Heroquest.

-Skaal DLC but it's the Bad Man Comes Back and you have to train and go full Legends of Korra shut down the axis mundi to the spirit world.

-Old Orc on the street but instead it is Orkey wearing a fake beard. "Hello fellow mortals, care for an easy peasy battle?" You lose? You are now a child.

-MORE NAKED NORDS!!1 I mean come on, not even a single Maran witch poofing the elf-fur underwear off of a lone traveller?

-Alduin can say fuck now, it's 4E 2022.

-Gotta find all the fragments of the Aldudaggavelashadingas from literally every clan, for the main quest. They all have their own version, good luck. You don't wanna get lost in the god-place now, do you? Also, Snow Whales and Dirt-Patch are back, baby.

-Daedric quests but they are all Nordic totems. Weird Rabbit-Man Mora. Skeeverking Peryite. Namira is just a slug-wörm. But the catch is, you only can do one and from that point on you sign your soul to them and every now and again they spam your dreamsleeve chat and annoy you for menial tasks.

-Weather Cycle, but the world is ending so Arkay is confused. Joy-Snow Storms just pacifies all enemies and makes you do zero damage. Spring is a time for war and the Spriggan-Queen Eld-Riami gathers her people to raid the Nordic settlements and reclaim farmlands for the wilds. She likes Bosmer. Every Summer is a different colour of sun which has a different effect. Red sun summons mini-Dagons to attack innocents. Blue sun is Atmoran summer-winter, causing time-freeze. Yellow sun is just an ass and screams at you in Ehlnofex and you don't follow your destiny.

-All the festivals and holidays and more. Day of Burning Your Clothes Off (Nords are naked okay). Day of Wear Your Totem But We're Not Furries We Promise. Day of Hammer Nails Into Your Eye. Day of Dress Up As A Horse And Walk Into The Stable For A Fertility Ritual That Will Get You Banned On Twitch. Don't forget the shield-biters.

-Bards College but you learn a skill to use instruments in battle and now every fight is an arrow rhythm game.

-No Grey-Beards but they are now the Daughters of Kyne. Still wear grey beards though.

-More gods and demigods. Like Olaj Olo the demi-god of Mead. Rando strangers just on the street have you do nonsense and then you go to a town and someone goes. "You spoke to a pantsless man with daggers for fingers and wasabi up his nose? That is Uru Mali! Shor's Favourite Clan Fool!"
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Sips-Much-Tea
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Re: Weird Skyrim Mod

Post by Sips-Much-Tea »

-Remember that bizarre piece of lore that claimed that to dragons there's no difference between mortal combat and a debate? Well, now killing a dragon entails arguing with a chatbot in a minigame. You win by screaming racial slurs in the dragon-tongue.

-Nazeem has his own questline where you murder his wife in order to comfort him in his hour of need before seducing him and keeping him for yourself. However, if you don't return to him at least once every 12 in-game days he'll divorce you and run off with Ri'saad. At long last, you can get to the Cloud District very often.

-Becoming a werewolf during the Companions questline now involves imprinting on a baby.

-That Frost Troll on the path to High Hrothgar now just instantly kills the player upon detection. Gotta keep them on their toes!

-Did you ever notice how neither side in the Civil War actually pays you? It was initially going to be in the game, but was cut. Well, now it's back; both Ulfric and General Tullius pay you in feet pics.

In all seriousness, I never quite got into modding for Skyrim. I tried a few out, but always ended up deleting the save and retreating back to the inflatable kiddie pool of familiarity. Apart from The Forgotten City, but that was good enough to be made into its own game, so...
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Herpetoquotation
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Re: Weird Skyrim Mod

Post by Herpetoquotation »

I like all of these. But we've gotta go weirder.
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Sips-Much-Tea
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Re: Weird Skyrim Mod

Post by Sips-Much-Tea »

Weirder? Certainly.

I had this wonderful idea for a DLC for Skyrim:

Sometime after the LDB curbstomped Alduin in Not-Valhalla, Vaermina got sick of being one of the least talked about Deadra so she vored the minds of a bunch of people in Skyrim while they slept and imprisoned their souls in her plane of Oblivion, the name of which escapes me. There, she forces them to listen to her poetry recitals and play Skyrim Monopoly (not a product placement) endlessly. Luckily, the LDB's mind wasn't vored because he/she/they were awake that evening due to consuming copious amounts of skooma and a couple of giant's toes.

Anyway, so, remember that one quest where you yank Sheogorath out of the mind of Pelagius? Well, now the LDB needs to plunge into Quagmire (that's the one!) in order to fish around for the thoroughly mindbroken denizens of Skyrim. In order to get Quagmire, you need to cut a deal with one of the other Daedric Princes to slip you in through the backdoor, but the only one who's up for it is The Cheese Lord himself, 'cause Vaermina's been going through a messy divorce, and the others just kinda want to give her some space. So, Sheogorath tosses you a magical backstage pass and you materialise in Quagmire. This is where the fun begins.

So, in order to rescue a soul, the LDB needs to collect 10 bottles of Red Bovine energy potion (definitely not a product placement) to summon each of the people (the actual number is RNG ranging from 100-10,000 which takes place upon character creation) that Vaermina is cruelly subjecting to amateur poetry slams and monopoly tournaments. You can find Red Bovine by slaying and looting bears that just happen to be wandering around Quagmire, but the drop rate is 1/10 and each of the 15 bears takes 5 minutes to respawn, and they do so randomly on a map roughly half the size of Skyrim.

This might sound extremely tedious, but rest assuredly that there exists a means to circumvent the grind. You can purchase bottles of Red Bovine from a storefront inexplicably located in a plane of Oblivion, but unfortunately the storekeeper only accepts Zenimax Gems (the new digital currency you can obtain through the new in-game cash shop) and you can't kill them and steal their stock because this is a Bethesda RPG. A single Zenimax Gem will get you 5 bottles of Red Bovine, and at ~0.76USD a Zenimax Gem it's practically a steal!

Once you've saved all the souls of the damned, Vaermina herself shows up and literally tells the player that she's the final boss. She's practically impossible to defeat unless you purchase the Skull of Corruption 2.0 from the Creation Club, though. Don't worry, it's only 10,000 Credits; a drop in the bucket compared what to you probably spent on getting out of farming the bears.

So, you kill Vaermina, and the LDB canonically becomes the next Daedric Prince of Nightmares, or whatever.

Roll credits.
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DrNightstone
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Re: Weird Skyrim Mod

Post by DrNightstone »

Not too weird but this is how I modded my Skyrim and I wish it were so vanilla but a more End-Of-The-Word feel. The World-Eater is ready to hit the reset button on the mundus.exe. Look to Banner Saga for inspiration.

Villages suddenly missing and figures of legend appearing as LadyN said but also the harshest winter, armour getting destroyed easier, food all around rotting quicker (you have hunger bar), plagues upon plagues, magic is rare to find but when found and learnt, utterly explosive. The gods are dying, it becomes harder to contact them, just an utter depressive piece of shit of a world-end to play it. To which, I saw, gimmie. Frostbite spider-riding trolls are migrating to the south for a reason.
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